There’s a spoof of a radio ad running in the neighborhood suggesting that the country’s current furor over rising gasoline prices could be readily solved with a readily available resource. A resource that is plentiful, fairly cheap, renewable and scalable – production could be ramped up to meet supply. Thousands of solid jobs would be created in the process.
The resource to replace gasoline? Beer. And we’re not talking using beer production byproducts as is being done to some degree now. We’re talking beer.
After putting some serious thought to it they actually may be on to something.
The pivotal piece of the puzzle is reverse engineering the internal combustion engine to run on beer.
Granted, this is a bit of a reach, though one might easily argue that given our ability to launch men and women into space (well, we used to…..), spin graphite fibers into fighter jets and expensive fly rods, design phones with more computing power than desktops of a decade ago and even build the Wonder Bra – some Einstonian egghead should get it done.
Once completed, imagine the possibilities that would open to you in choosing your fuels for your next fill-up.
No longer limited to just three grades of fuel, extensive testing would need be done to determine which beer(s) fueled your trusty four-wheeled friend to perform optimally. Entire research institutes dedicated to the cause would spring up across the fruited plain; we know of several good friends who are already conducting in-depth research into unique beer properties as we speak.
Imagine their surprise at being propelled from their current roles as shiftless, conniving, occasionally lying and at times unemployed fly fishermen to alternative fuel research impresarios, respected and lauded members of the community, with enough cash in hand to pay down bar tabs and buy that new rod for the season.
There would even need to be a Beer Czar to oversee the testing, research and development of the project on a national level. I’d humbly volunteer to serve as the Beer Czar for no pay until a suitable permanent candidate might be appointed.
It doesn’t take a great deal of imagination to project that the political candidate endorsing the beer as fuel platform would be elected in a landslide rush.
Here’s to the newest and unquestionably best renewable alternative energy resource.
