A couple of days ago I was sitting in my truck waiting for She Who Must Be Obeyed to finish up at the Orvis shop, enjoying a soft Alabama evening.
Thunderheads were putting on a great lightning show from the next county over and there were a few lightning bugs dancing above the green space right off my hood. It was frankly downright inspirational and I was jotting down some notes for a book project I’m writing, enjoying a lately rare burst of peaceful, creative clarity.
Just then a mom with a Suburban full of kids pulled up a few spaces down, popped open (I swear) every door on the vehicle and out poured half a preteen girls softball team, strikingly similar to the explosion of bozos out of the circus clown car. It got worse – a full size van pulled in next to her with the rest of ’em.
Dammit.
Convincingly impersonating a drill sergeant, Mom lined them up, popped open a University of Alabama emblazoned Yeti Tundra 75 and started slinging pimento cheese sandwiches (on Wonder Bread I later learned) to an obviously delighted, pint-sized feminine army, the bulk of whom insisted on a second sandwich oozing cheesy goodness.
The girls oohed and aahed, devoured the sandwiches with a ferocity equal to any man I’ve ever fished with on a long hungry day, and never stopped talking, chewing, generally dancing around or saying ‘thank you, Mizz S’ during the ensuing 15 minutes.
I watched the display with mouth agape and laughed out loud when several of the girls asked if there were fried green tomatoes to slip into their sandwich. My guffaw caught the attention of Mizz S, who sashayed right over and offered a sandwich through my open window.
We laughed and chatted for a few minutes, she insisting the sandwiches really are better with a layer of freshly fried green tomatoes in the mix, though the recipe she drawled off for me was undoubtedly the best I’ve ever tasted.
Mizz S’s secret? A bit of grated sweet onion, ‘cause that’s how it’s done in Georgia, honey’. Mizz S claimed she makes a 5x recipe to ‘feed the girls’ and subs in some chopped pickled jalapeños or a drained can of Rotel when making this for ‘the grownups’.
And the people (including the entire softball team) said ‘Amen’.
1 pound sharp cheddar cheese, grated
1/3 to 1/2 cup good (company quality) mayonnaise
1 jar (7 to 10 oz) pimentos, drained, diced fairly small
2-3 tbsp grated sweet onion
2 small garlic cloves, minced
1 tsp hot sauce, preferably Crystal
1 tsp Cayenne powderConsider adding
1 can regular Rotel, well drained, in place of the pimentos
2-4 tbsp pickled jalapeños, chopped medium
Stir. Combine all ingredients in a medium bowl and stir well, but gently, until uniformly mixed. Start with 1/3 cup of mayonnaise and add a bit more to taste and to bind the mixture if needed.
Serve cold on plain crackers, cheap white bread or toast, or in that pimento cheese and fried green tomato sandwich. Or just eat it with a spoon.
Enjoy.
