Last night at the fly shop, I had the (dis)pleasure of meeting one of the self proclaimed experts on trout fishing in the world. In order to maintain his true identity I’ll just call him Dr. Dumbass.
Dr. Dumbass had several amazing revelations to share with me. First off: there are no trout over 18 inches in Montana. At all. They simply don’t exist. This expert had fished the Big Hole and the Bighorn for a whole three days, so he definitely has enough experience to make this claim.
Second, wild trout can not grow over 18 inches. The conditions are just not right. It is a physical impossibility to have a wild trout over that size.
And lastly, the best trout fishing in the whole world (which our good doctor seemed to know an awful lot about) is on the Guadalupe River here in Texas. Indeed, every fish in there is over 20 inches, and an 18 inch fish is the smallest one you’ll find. This is amazing, as the vast majority of the stocked fish are in the 10-12 inch range.
Must be something in the water.
I’ll bring you more about this fascinating phenomenon in my upcoming series: The Ethics of Fishing Stocked Trout in Unnatural Locations and The People Who Fish For Them.
While I was being lectured about the aforementioned truisms, I was too shocked to have a good comeback. My first instinct wouldn’t have gone over too well. (Management might frown on bitch-slapping a customer. Don’t think I didn’t consider it though.) But, if I hadn’t been so overwhelmed with disgust I would have said something along the lines of “I’m very glad you feel that way. You should never fish for those tiny little fish up there again.” One less dumbass clogging up the rivers.
Sometimes ignorance is a good thing.
Tags: Damn!
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Couple of thoughts…
- Indeed, keep Dr. Dumbass and his ilk off the Montana rivers
- While bitch slapping him most likely would have gotten you fired, it would have felt damn good
- This Dr. Dumbass sounds an awful lot like a relative of mine.
Keep on truckin’ Jake.
Someone once said “The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.”